Episode 21 with Dr. Ray Guarendi

Discipline and Consistency in an Age of Confusion and Anxiety

In today’s episode of “Mercy Unbound” Dr. Thatcher chats with “Dr. Ray” Guarendi, noted psychologist, author of over a dozen books on parenting, discipline, psychology, and apologetics, and well-known Catholic talk show host on EWTN.

Dr. Ray focuses on various aspects of discipline, the anxieties parents have about disciplining their children, and why discipline is important for the moral and psychological development of a child.

What exactly is discipline and how as parents do we enforce it

Discipline is having standard expectations of one’s behavior that are enforced by consequences if not met. You cannot teach a child how to respect people if you continue to allow them to disrespect people. Teaching a child humility, morals, right and wrong is what binds a child to the truth and keeps them close to God.

What the Current Generation Believes and is Taught

Unfortunately, the new parenting guide that has been encouraged and taught to parents is to not discipline your children, rather sit and talk and reward children for when they do right and brush aside the wrong behavior.

Dr. Ray shares how this leads to behaviors that are out of control and the child having little respect for others.

Society pushes the notion that disciplining your child is unnecessary and things can be talked out with kind words and discussion. The parents feel guilty and a mean failure if things don’t work out. Parents are the most loving and kind disciplinarians the children will ever have; if they don’t discipline then others - a judge, the school system, or the penal system will.

Thinking long term vs. short term

Discipline is a long-term goal but does have short term rewards.

The more consistent you are with consequences for wrong behavior, the better relationship you will have with your child. The more you discipline and are consistent, the less need for discipline will be an end result.

Talking and talking and talking is not effective. Parents needs to follow up words with action if needed.